Lose A Little, Gain Plenty
by Ioanne
Summary: Lee has a lot to think about, and a lot to learn about himself, Kara makes a decision of her own and William Adama of course already knows everything. Final chapter.
1. Default Chapter

**Lose A Little, Gain Plenty**

by Ioanne

_Pairing: Kara / Lee, my favourite couple and my inspiration_

_Summary: Lee has a lot to think about, and a lot to learn about himself, Kara makes a decision of her own and William Adama of course already knows everything_

_Spoilers: Set after Kobol's Last Gleaming Part I. Starbuck has just left, this is my version of Lee's reaction after he gets back to Galactica_

_Disclaimer: Battlestar Galactica belongs to it's creators_

_Feedback: would be nice, thank you_

1

"What the frak did she think she was doing? When I specifically told her that I can't afford to lose any of my pilots! And what was the President thinking sending my best pilot on a suicide mission? Why doesn't anybody feel the need to fill me in with these kinds of plans which concerns my pilots?" Lee was shouting in anger in the commander's quarters after his return to Galactica.

William Adama was watching his son trying to reign in his anger. He knew Lee was mad that Kara took off but there seemed to be something else in this too. He saw fear and hurt in Lee's eyes.

"What's going on? Why are you so furious?"

"Why? Why? She should have told me, that's why! I'm the CAG, I should know if she plans on bailing out on me. I should have known if she had some secret mission", Lee cried.

"Would you have let her go if she had told you beforehand?"

"No! I needed her here so of course I wouldn't have let her go!"

"Well, at least now you know why she didn't tell you. Look, I'm not trying to justify her actions but the reality is that she's gone with the raider and we have to make a new plan as soon as possible. She might be out of this fight but we aren't so get your head back together. We have an attack to plan."

"But she didn't even….", Lee paused and looked down at his hands. He knew he was acting childish. He needed to find reasons for his father why he felt so much anger and hurt burning inside him because he was sure that it was showing like a radiant heat wave around him. He wasn't going to tell his father the truth that he and Kara had had an ugly fight earlier and what the fight had been all about. He was sure his father wouldn't understand why he felt so hurt and betrayed because he sure didn't understand it himself. Back then at the hangar bay it had been very clear to him why he had felt he had the right to be very angry. Crystal clear. He just needed to find that clear place again, it seemed to have disappeared somewhere in the last few hours.

"Say goodbye? Kara's not one for saying goodbyes, is she? Besides, I don't think you have to worry, she'll be back. She's a survivor and she always finds her way back home."

Lee wasn't feeling very assured yet.

"Still, if something happens and there'll be nobody to..."

"She'll be fine, she's that stubborn."

William Adama had an idea what the real problem here was. He had heard the rumor mill talking about a confrontation between his son and Kara concerning a certain Vice President. His son was jealous and he had no idea how to handle the feeling. If he guessed correctly Lee had confronted Kara by shouting at her and pulling rank because that's how he could try to keep in control. Of course the shouting and anger only showed how much he cared but then again knowing Kara she had probably tried to show that she couldn't care less.

Lee looked sharply at his father hearing the slight amusement in his voice not knowing what to make of it.

"Yeah, well she's stubborn alright, I'll give you that. I just don't know if I can ever trust her again" Lee said feeling the sadness from that statement starting to crawl inside his heart.

"Look, I suggest you sort it out why you are this upset and I recommend you do it fast because we have a situation on and I need you sane and concentrated. Just remember son, you need to let yourself lose that control of yours a little and the answer will be right there in front of you. Now take a break and be back in CIC in half an hour with a clear head." Adama escorted his son to the door and with a pat on his back sent him on his way to do some thinking. He himself had some discussing to do with the President.


	2. Lee's battle

2

Lee was standing in the hallway feeling like a 9-year-old who had been sent to his room to think about his recent actions. He looked over his shoulder at the closed door and thought about going back in and but then decided it would be best if he actually tried to do what he was told to. There were not that many places on Galactica where someone could be doing some private thinking without being disturbed but there was one place that would be empty at the moment and that was the gym.

"Well, it wouldn't hurt to go punch a bag when I can't punch the one I really want to punch right now", Lee thought to himself. So he grabbed his sweats from his locker and went to the gym to hit something.

"Lose a little, what did he mean lose a little. How can I find some answer by not thinking about it. That makes no sense", Lee mumbled while punching the boxing bag. In a few minutes he fell to a rhythm and he could clear his head from any disturbing thoughts. Didn't the commander say he wanted him clearheaded? Well, now he was getting there.

On second thought, not….. Trust. Could he still trust Kara? He thought about his trust for Starbuck the pilot and he couldn't see himself mistrusting her in a combat situation. He would still trust his life in her hands and he knew that trust would be well and justly placed. All right, she had made a bad judgement call but he just knew that she wouldn't have left in the middle of a combat situation. She would have finished the fight, saved a few of their asses and then left when the imminent danger was over. So not that big of a problem there.

But what about Kara the friend? Could there be a friendship without trust? Why could he not trust Kara as a friend anymore? What had she done so bad that she could not be trusted? Truthfully? Nothing. Okay, so Kara had slept with someone, so what? She had needs and she had absolutely no need to explain herself to anybody, certainly not to him. Well, of course if she did something that concerned the CAG, like sleeping with someone while on duty, but she wasn't like that. Then why was this so painful? Why did he feel like she had betrayed him somehow, like his heart had been ripped out of his chest and fed to the……? 'No Lee, don't go there. All that awaits there is more questions and confusion and you were ordered to clear your head so keep that door closed and sealed. There, much better. Now, start again with the clearing part.´ Soon Lee found out though that that was easier said than done.

His brain started to replay some parts of his earlier 'conversations' with Kara and he could hear himself accusing her of sleeping around. Had he actually said that? Then there had been some punching… okay, not so smart in front of other people but nothing new there. One would throw the first punch, the other would punch back, that's the way it had always been. It had been a familiar and a more easy way to settle their occasional differences than actually trying to talk about them back when they were still young and in flight school. Talking was way too difficult.

Then he could hear him asking her to at least tell him why she had done it and hearing her reply he noticed for the first time that there had been tears in her voice. How could he have missed that? Had he really been so angry that he hadn't heard her swallowing tears? Besides, she was not a screw-up. He didn't really think so, but he hadn't said it to her. She was just a bit too impulsive from time to time. He should have said that to her.

Now Lee was punching the bag very hard and with quickening pace and in his head he could hear himself asking Kara over and over again "why did you do it? why did you do it?" and just when he thought he would go insane if it didn't stop there was a bright moment of clearness in his head and he could see Kara's face and hear her voice asking softly "Would you miss me, sir?".

He stopped right there, when the realisation hit him that he could actually lose her. He felt his chest tighten with fear and his knees give up and he fell there on the floor shouting with tears in his eyes "Yes! Yes, I would miss you so much! Don't you dare to leave me alone here!"

TBC


	3. Kara's resolution

_Author's Notes:_

_Thanks for the reviews! I know my chapters and my stories are a little short but I'm still new to this fanfic writing. I seem to have the beginning and the ending ready in my head and then not enough patience to build the middle part ;) Anyway, thanks for reading this, I'm hoping to write a sequel some day not too far away._

3

Commander Adama had had a brief conversation with the President which had been mainly him telling her what he thought about her actions and telling her that if Starbuck would not return soon with the raider they would be screwed. Then he went looking for his son.

He didn't want to disturb Lee, he just wanted to know that he was okay. He was a bit concerned what would happen if Lee actually lost a little control. He found him where he thought he would, the only place that would have some privacy.

When he got there he saw Lee punching the bag like it was some enemy that needed to be defeated but then he saw him suddenly stop and collapse to the floor. He almost went to him to ask if it had helped but then he heard him scream and he knew his presence would not be appreciated. It had apparently been hard but Lee had accomplished what he had sent him to do. He had faced his biggest fear, his fear of losing Kara. Only it was a shame she wasn't here so they could sort things out now when Lee had lowered his defences.

Kara was family and it had been over two years since his younger son had died. Now William Adama had these two left and they both deserved to be happy. They would be good together, always had been. Lee would accept Kara just as she was and that would calm her down a bit and Kara would make Lee laugh and enjoy life. Yes, they were definitely good for each other. Now Lee only needed to remember this moment when Kara would return to Galactica. And she would return, he was certain of that. She wasn't the kind of person to leave her loved ones behind.

'Let's hope she comes back soon'. With that thought William Adama turned around and left.

Light-years away Kara was flying her raider to Caprica when suddenly she felt her heart jump an extra beat. She felt breathless for a moment and wondered what that had been about. Not knowing why, she smiled and suddenly felt a little lighter, like a heavy burden had been lifted from her shoulders.

'Maybe things will turn out all right after all', she thought and felt sure she would find the arrow and be back on Galactica soon. She might even forgive Lee for being such an ass and then…. then she would make sure he understood how sorry she was and how big a mistake she thought her sleeping with that idiot was. She would not let him leave until he understood that, even if it meant that she would have to lock him up in a storage room or sit on top of him to keep him in place. Or maybe both…. now that might be interesting. Kara grinned at the thought.

And then they would start over and everything would be all right again. No, not just all right, everything would be good. They would be good, together.

The End


End file.
